April Fools Patch Notes prediction


Edit: Thank you so much for the gold!!<3Patch Notes:GeneralPlayers will now properly collide with other players.After comsuming any food, players will now be required to wait at least 30 minutes to engage in any kind of combat.Khadgar has been suspended from service after we found out that the Archmage would deliberately put players in dangerous situations for the sole purpose of making more puns.We would like to take this opportunity to say that Nomi is really trying his best. But come on, at least he didn't burn the beer. Nomi managed to burn the beer.Nomi was granted the Firelord title.ClassesDeath KnightUsing Sindragosa's Fury will now correctly cause 169% of weapon damage as Ear damage to players within 40 yards and will immediately cause all magic effects to BEETRAAAY their users.Unholy Death Knights have been renamed Necromancy Death Knights.Frost Death Knight will now deal 50% less damage in hot environments.DruidDruids now have a fifth specialization, Aquatic. Greatly buffing all traits, damage and stats of [Aquatic Form] while fighting in water.Feral druids have been caught and we will make sure we find a very nice new owner for all of them after this expansion.Moonkin Form was removed, instead, Balance druids will now get bonus damage while not in combat.HunterHunters have been renamed Archers because we feel their name was interfering with the Demon Hunter class.Trueshot Lodge was made 100% more cosy.Archers will now have the option of mounting their pets, at the cost of being able to tame anything but horses.Aspect of the Pack has been brought back for all Archer specs and it now provides a passive 20% movement speed for you party or raid. Taking damage while Aspect of the Pack is active will cause a daze, reducing the movement speed of all affected targets by 98% for 8 seconds.MageThe Mage class order hall was remodelled to no longer look like an adult toy.Arcane Mages will now correctly turn into Withered upon running out of mana.Ice Barrier will now properly melt when taking Fire damage.Casting any Frost spell will now play "Let it Go" by Disney's Frozen™.Fire will now correctly deal single target damage.MonksThe Monk class was removed from the game after we found out that Demon Hunters were much more popular. Also we were running out of leather gear. We apologize for this sudden change, and we will compensate all Monk players with a level 110 Survival Archer fully equipped with Ilvl 860 gear.PaladinThe Retribution Hidden Artifact appearance had it's drop chance lowered, and can now only be looted if you are exalted with every fishing faction.Paladins will no longer be able to ride mounts indoors, we profusely apologize to everyone who had their floors damaged by this. To compensate for this change, Paladins will now be able to fly while Avenging Wrath is active.PriestShadow Priests will now correctly start cackling maniacally after explaining their master plan to take over Azeroth upon reaching 100% Insanity.Discipline Priest was renamed Disc Priest, because why bother anymore.RogueThe Rogue order hall had air refreshers installed because we started to feel just a tiny bit sorry for them.Subtlety Rogues are now 43% more subtle, making them almost completely unnoticeable in all content.Outlaw Rogues now have the options to pick Ninja too.The Outlaw ability [Bribe] now costs 500 gold per attempt.ShamanShamans were horribly nerfed to keep their long established status intact.Shamans are now underpowered, we will try but it's not likely to change.WarlockDemonology has been renamed to Zoolock, a name inspired by our Hearthstone franchise.Typing lock while being 20 yards or closer to a Warlock player will now cause your characters legs to lock up. Warlocks are expected to help said players when they start caring.Summoning another player will now automatically grant the Warlock 200 gold paid by the player summoned. This is to discourage slacking.WarriorUsing any shout spell will no longer cause Warriors to gain the [Sore Throat] debuff.The Protection Warrior Artifact, Scale of the Earth-Warder, will now correctly scale.Arms Warriors will now be encouraged daily to not skip leg days.Fury Warriors can now only use daggers.Fury Warriors now automatically learn [Backstab] at level 4Fury Warriors now deal 60% more damage when attacking from the front.Now that Fury Warriors are properly [Enraged] from reading these changes, all of them have been reverted.Fury Warriors can now only use daggers.Demon HunterFixed a bug where deaf Demon Hunters were completely helpless in some content.Players will no longer be allowed to name their Demon Hunter anything that includes Illidan or similar versions.Demon Hunters will automatically be renamed Hunters when not actively fighting demons.Whenever you enter Hunter stance, Aspect of the Pack is instantly activated, and a random animal will start following you. Your equipped Warglaives will be replaced by a bow, and you gain several ranged attack abilities.We are currently looking at the issue that causes Demon Hunters in Hunter mode to miss every shot because of an obvious design flaw we overlooked. We suspect that it is caused by a bug involving blindfolds.Fixed an issue causing Fel Rush to disconnect people from the ga